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Read February 22, 2010, 08:11:04 AM #0
Cydon Prax'

Galaxies Criminals robbed blind.

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GALAXIES CRIMINALS ROBBED BLIND
HUTTS SAY IRONY IS NOT KARKING HILARIOUS

Four of the Major Galactic Criminal Organizations swindled

Imperial City, CoruscantEarlier this week, an Identity Thief stole the account information of several criminal organizations, pulling all of their assets (over 11.2B Credits) from the Bank of Coruscant, calling the attack justice. Ironically, due to the post-apocalyptic nature of most Galactic Governments caused by the same war the Hutts promoted, Coruscanti authorities were unable to help the Criminal Businesses.

The not named or identified Criminal Organizations (The Corellian Sith Remnant, the Criminal Underground, The Core (Terrorist Clan), and Czerka Coruscant), announced they would be unable to pay their employees without the stolen funds, and fearing an inner collapse, have formed the largest single-man bounty hunt in Galactic History since the Imperial run Galactic hunt for still-living, still-breathing, still-kicking-ass Joryn Vreek.


"Wesa in da criminal world are willing to put aside our differences and work together for a good, honest cause: Killing this man, and maybe his family." said Bom'Bar Jas, well known Bounty Hunter on Tatooine. "Wesa originally wanted to hold mass slaughterin' in da Coruscant Banks, because they let this man withdrawl our assets without the uber secret password: Goober Fish' Fillet. But when da banks assured us killing them wouldn't get us our muy-muy maxi-big credit stash, we considered our options..." He added.

Those options, as were reported by our reporters, were to set aside their differences and join up with each other. This pseudo axis-of-evil, comprised of the Hutt-Based Criminal Underground, the newly formed Corellian Czerka Corps, the decade old terrorist clan "The Core", and the small Corellian Sith Remnant, established a Galaxy-wide manhunt and a reward for whomever finds the person that hilariously duped them out of their stolen, illegal, and likely counterfeit funds.

Paragon, the unnamed individual who single-handedly sent the Black Market into a fiery tailspin with his 11.2B Credit withdrawal, said "When the bad guys I robbed blind succumb to bankruptcy and die, these credits will go to the good guys in the Imperial Remnant. Anyone that helps me will get their fare share for helping the good guys. We are heroes, and its time to prove it." The message was tempting to those not affected by the loot.


Post-apocalyptic societies like the one on Tatooine leave fat slobs like this still prosperous.

Nalla the Great Hutt Lord, in response, also left a tempting offer: "When I speak this, I want all of you to listen as carefully and closely as possible. This message is for you, for all: To the person(s) that bring us Paragon, we will give you the entire sector and planet of Tatooine. Not just the Palace, not just the Planet, but the entire sector. Find Paragon, bring him to us, and we will give you a dynasty."

Imperial Secretary Uʍop-ǝpısdn, when asked about the situation replied, "Finally someone is doing what large government can't, and getting rid of the useless slag this Galaxy doesn't need. We all know that what's being given away and destroyed is something that never should have been allowed to exist, nor given spotlight in Galactic Media. Let the evils burn in all nine hells of the abyss."

When asked if his views on the Hutts were too harsh, Secretary Uʍop-ǝpısdn looked confused. "Hutts? I was talking about Tatooine."
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Read February 22, 2010, 09:56:27 AM #1
Rei

Re: Galaxies Criminals robbed blind.

I love you. Honest reply coming later.


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Read February 22, 2010, 12:38:12 PM #2
Niftyeye

Re: Galaxies Criminals robbed blind.




Imperial Military Officials refused to comment and denied any involvement.



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